Okay I know that everything changes all the time. My breath is in constant flow in and out of my body. My thoughts rise constantly in my mind like bubbles in fizzy water, restless and changing with every breath. Time is in constant motion as it changes from one minute to the next, and with this procession of time comes the ever changing light of day and night, and the ever shifting seasons of the earth. So with all this change within and without why does change hurt so much?
It seems I am a creature of habit, I like to feel that there are some constants which I can rely on in my life, and so the awareness and acceptance of constant change is something I seem to fight. I kid myself that much of what goes on around me and within me is steady and predictable. I guess it gives me a sense of solidity and certainty.
It seems I’m not alone with this, as almost everyone has a sense of this. We say “I am this kind of person”, “this is what I do”, ” this is what I like”, as though these things are fixed in stone. Yet nothing is truly fixed, not even stone, it just changes at a slower pace than we do. Perhaps the rate or predictability of the change has a bearing on how comfortable or sore it feels as we experience it.
Change we have chosen tends to be less painful and disorientating than change we didn’t see coming and happened out with our control. But change we chose can still hurt. I think it’s because all change involves loss. Before something new happens or comes along, I have to let go of whatever was filling up that space before. So if I’m going to make a new great friend, I might not have the time or space unless I let go of an existing relationship. Without letting go of the old there will be no space for new growth, and I suppose that’s exactly what Mother Nature does every Autumn, she helps the trees let go of this years growth, ready for a period of rest before next years new beginning.
So although change hurts its also exciting as it means something new is unfolding, and I suppose my experience depends on whether I’m looking back at the past or forward into the future at that moment! Also whether I’m resisting or accepting the change.
Resisting makes me brittle and hard and far more likely to break when the winds if change storm through my life. If I can accept what’s happening, I’m more likely to stay flexible and supple and adapt to what’s happening 🙂 But its not always easy! Today as I walked the dogs, after a wild Autumn storm last night, the path was littered with the top branches of the trees, as though some angry giant had pulled them off and thrown them down in anger. The leaves hadn’t even started to turn yellow and the acorns were still green, they had been plucked before they were ready by the wild storm. This I think is when change hurts most.